6720 Frank Lloyd Wright Ave
Middleton, WI 53562
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Living with intention, as best we’re able.

At the beginning of every class we set an intention, perhaps a simple phrase that can become our mantra for the next hour, day, week. Sometimes this word “intention” blows my mind, because it is, at its core, pure yoga. When we create intention, we are voicing something that we intend to do – some direction we hope to go. Something we want to happen. Now I don’t know about you, but I intend to do lots and lots of things that don’t get done. I hope every day that I’ll wake up with better organizational skills and more patience in traffic. And I will – someday. I really do believe that. But for now, I turn my focus to these small intentions, these little nuggets of good that I hope to bring into myself and the world, with as little judgment or frustration as I can muster. I work towards these goals/ hopes/ dreams/ intentions as best I’m able, which some days (if we’re being all yogic and real), isn’t very much. But that’s yoga too – setting intentions, drawing the picture of a life we want to live, and working toward it – without being attached to its outcome. Knowing that as hard as we work, some things just don’t/ won’t come to fruition, for whatever reason. But we set the intention, and we breathe, and we live, laugh, and love, and we do the best we’re able. It’s all we can do! And it’s enough.

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Posted by Amanda | Thursday, May 17th, 2012 at 6:04 am
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Words can only get you so far.

Words have always been my best friends and my worst enemies. I know that reading works of literature shaped me into the person I am, yet communication can be difficult for me. I often struggle with the spoken word, while I feel like I could convey my exact thoughts/ emotions if given a pen and paper (or a computer) and enough time. Conversely, my daughter has a razor-sharp tongue and is crazy confident and quick to speak – one might say her words come before her complete thought – which is proving to be a rather significant source of conflict between us. The strong-willed, sharp-tongued daughter versus the fundamentally-a-pleaser-at-heart, agonizing-over-every-word mother. Hmmm.

So you know what I’ve found to work lately? Touch. This solution applies across the board, in my opinion, to all close relationships. Mother, child, lover, best friend, etc. When words stop working, and the hole is getting bigger and bigger and hurting more and more, stop communicating with your mind and start communicating with your body. Shut up and hug it out. Find something you enjoy doing together and do it without speaking. Someone I admire very much was just telling me that when her daughter gets in a funk, they do the Acroyoga poses they learned at a workshop they attended together. When Maddie gets salty, I’m trying to learn and remember to stop the cycle before the anger sets in (on both sides). I sit down on the couch, and wave her over for a snuggle. Sometimes we just sit, but most of the time, she’ll start opening up and sharing what’s really bothering her. Other times I sit down at the piano and invite her to sit beside me, and we just play together. Nothing exciting, we’re not musical dynamos, but we both love music and it’s particularly fun to create it with someone else. This afternoon, she reached for my hand as we were walking through a parking lot after a somewhat dramatic series of events. And all was forgiven.

Touch opens up a different part of us, a deeper, simpler, more human, more primal part of us. Not all problems can be solved this way, of course, but I’m going to be practicing touch far more in my own life, as a source of both avoiding and solving conflicts. As both a preventative measure and a cure. If you can move out of the head and into the body, the heart beating within that body will soften, will open, and will see the hearts of others more clearly.

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Posted by Amanda | Thursday, May 3rd, 2012 at 9:12 pm
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A Tree Growing in the Concrete

The other day in yoga class, I looked out the window and found a curious drishti – a tree growing in the concrete. This image stayed with me far longer than any previously-used aid or focal point in my balance poses. Truth be told, it has haunted me for two full weeks. It has bounced around in my brain during this time, inexplicably bothering me, making me a little sad. And then it came to me (on my mat, of course): I feel like that tree. I am doing too much, working too hard, not nourishing myself the way I need to – filling and surrounding myself with concrete rather than rich soil – yet expecting to grow and flourish nonetheless. How many of us busy parents do this very same thing?? We feed our children well-rounded, nutritious meals, and we get the leftovers (if we’re lucky). Same goes for nourishing the spirit and soul – we get our kids involved in enriching activities, schedule playdates, read to them, talk to them about their hopes and dreams – without taking a moment of the day – or week! – to do the same for ourselves. Wake up call: we need this stuff, too. I admit it – my tree stopped growing for a minute. And I realized that if I treat myself this way, I’m not only limiting myself, but I’m sending my children the wrong message. In many ways, we are the soil or concrete in which our children grow. If we don’t provide ourselves a full, lush environment in which to grow, we can’t be such for our children. Can we? So get thee to a yoga class, get out for a hike, make yourself a colorful, nutritious meal, take more than 3 minutes to eat it, get 8 hours of sleep, read a book. Yogini’s orders!!

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Posted by Amanda | Tuesday, March 20th, 2012 at 9:55 am
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Beauty Everywhere

I recently watched a movie I hadn’t seen in a while – a long while – and was struck by my different perception of the characters/ actors. I’m not proud to admit this, but growing up, I was somewhat of a judgmental, even superficial sort. I was taught that appearance plays a large role in who a person is – it defines them, to a large degree – and there are strict requirements for “good” and “bad” in this realm. And yeah, I probably developed an eating disorder because of this. Mind you, in this world (otherwise known as the 80′s) nobody actually considers themselves attractive/ good enough – they just compare and diminish and gossip and spew negativity all over the damn place.

As usual, I digress…the point is, I’m watching these actors, beautiful, interesting faces on each one of them, and I can’t stop thinking, “How did I not think this person was beautiful??!!” I am so grateful that I am to this point in my life – however awful the road that got me here, it doesn’t matter; I look at everyone – almost without fail – and I see beauty. I see kind eyes, I see beautiful laugh lines, I see playful spirits, supportive friends, loving and generous hearts. Perhaps it’s a thing that comes with age, but no, I think not. I know many who have only had their negativity increase with the candles on their cake.

So we get to choose beauty. Choose to find it, to see it – in others, and goddess willing, in ourselves. Can you? Do you? When did you see it last? Can you even remember?? Would you recognize beauty or love if it smacked you in the face? We are all in different places on this spectrum. My friends tend to make fun of me, because I think everyone is beautiful. But who’s wrong? I mean, really. I choose beauty.

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Posted by Amanda | Wednesday, March 7th, 2012 at 9:54 pm
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Clarity (Guest post written by Melissa Cheeks)

I was introduced to yoga through a free program while I was in college. I was immediately drawn to the positive energy and calmness that all yogis seem to effortlessly display. It wasn’t until I moved to Madison and joined the Blackbird family that I found my place in yoga again.

It was the morning of my first yoga class, and I was confronted with an unexpected obstacle. I couldn’t get the disappointment erased from my memory, and I very nearly curled up on the couch and gave up on attending class altogether. Instead, I gathered up the strength to get dressed. I walked into the studio, and as soon as my bare feet hit the yoga mat, I knew I was in the right place. I found my breath again. I found my strength again. With each pose and each opportunity to focus, I was filled with a sense of gratitude. I was standing in warrior pose when the teacher suddenly said, “If we have an obstacle, the only way to overcome it is not to look at it, but to look past it.” It was then that I realized that I could be a warrior, not only here, but everywhere. I can use the same focus it took to stand in my yoga poses, and apply it to every other difficult situation. With every breath, comes clarity.

~Guest Post written by Melissa Cheeks, Blackbird Childcare/ Front Desk Assistant

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Posted by Amanda | Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012 at 7:42 pm
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O Ripen’d joy of womanhood!

I stumbled across the following lines in my reading this afternoon, and thought the message went nicely with Sarah’s guest post from Wednesday:

“O ripen’d joy of womanhood! O happiness at last!
How clear is my mind – how all people draw nigh to me!
What attractions are these beyond any before? what bloom more than the bloom of youth?
What beauty is this that descends upon me and rises out of me?”

~Walt Whitman

We are grown-ups, adult women. We may have some lines on our faces, perhaps some marks on our bodies from bringing life into this world. All those lines and scars have brought us to this place of superstardom. We are brilliant, strong, loving, confident, curious, hopeful. We bloom more than we did in our youth, just as Whitman proposes. It’s true – my youth was wasted wondering what other people were thinking and feeling; my adulthood is being spent asking myself what I am thinking and how I am feeling. This is what causes the people to “draw nigh” – this openness, honesty, and sweetness in our attitude towards ourselves and towards life in general. O happiness at last!

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Posted by Amanda | Friday, February 10th, 2012 at 3:40 pm
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Superstars (Guest post from Sarah Higgins)

We are women. We love yoga. We are Superstars. Maybe you’ve seen our red stereo print retro tee shirts that we should probably just pass along to the next generation because they came in so dang small. That’s another story.

We are women. We love yoga. We are Superstars.

We practice for different reasons, and in different ways.

Each of our diverse paths is sacred, necessary, and profound. We are curious about ourselves and about what happens when other women to begin to live life now.

We no longer hold back from our passions, or hide from our truths. We build ourselves up from within, and simply choose to see the good first. We are all different and all brilliant and see it in you, too. On our mats we retreat to our breath, to our bodies, and our minds, blending it all together. Practice resets us, connects us, and helps us burn brighter. Sharing stories, our laughter, our struggles, letting It weave all together in a unique way every time. Little imperfections create a rich pulse drawing us in even deeper. Like our practice, our conversations over time become cumulative and we share old and new secrets of yoga, of living great now, challenging ourselves and each other to go deeper yet, to live freer more of the time, and to love more deeply now. What we’ve discovered along the way, we had (have) to share. We invite you; yes, you really are a Superstar.

Every Thursday, during and after the 9:00 class.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by Amanda | Wednesday, February 8th, 2012 at 8:03 pm
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This Is It

I’ve been trying to think of something interesting or profound or even noteworthy to share here for a while, and I’m coming up empty. And here’s why:

These people are my life. These days, they’ve needed a tiny bit more of me than in other phases of their little lives. The little dude is with me every afternoon, and oftentimes I need to choose between playing with him or working. Too many days in the last 18 months, I’ve chosen work. The almost-teenager (ok, just 8!) on the right needs me in different ways, but they are no less time consuming than the 4 year old’s needs.

I’m a yogini. I’m a teacher. I’m a business owner. I’m a friend to many beautiful souls. But I am a mama above all else. I do not want to look back in 10 years and wonder what life would’ve been like if I had ridden bikes to the park instead of updated my website one afternoon. These days, I’m choosing the park, friends. I’m still working, don’t you worry – I’m thinking of ways to build and grow Blackbird even as I build legos and play Pokemon!!

Come to think of it, this decision IS kind of profound, isn’t it?

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Posted by Amanda | Monday, February 6th, 2012 at 6:14 pm
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Be a Warrior

Considering yoga’s peaceful core teachings, the warrior poses confused me for a long time. Until one moment when I was in Warrior I, heart just wide the hell open, when I understood. I felt as if I was offering myself to something, someone. Giving all of myself to my practice, to the world, letting them take what they would. I had discovered the feeling of being a “spiritual warrior,” who bravely does battle with the universal enemy, self-ignorance (avidya), the ultimate source of all our suffering. True warriors open their hearts, exposing their most vulnerable selves. Just as soldiers run towards the enemy with fearlessness, so does the spiritual warrior open herself completely to the often harsh and scary world. We fully offer our tender hearts, knowing that there is risk, there is pain, there is darkness. There are those who will take advantage of our wide-open heart. But part of being a warrior is feeling that fear and leaning into it rather than running away from it.

Not that this is easy, or like flipping a switch. I still struggle with the desire/ instinct to wear armor over my heart. Just this weekend, I wrestled with the concept of resisting vs. melting, protecting vs. opening. There’s a dark side to the beautiful concepts we find in yogic philosophy – nothing is constant, for example. Nothing is guaranteed to last. So sometimes, in the dark moments of the night, I find myself thinking, “Why bother?” We don’t need to be reminded of the divorce rate. The economy is in the gutter, and having a reliable job or running a successful small business is never guaranteed. Even those of us who think this sort of thing will never affect our lives…well, you just never know. You really don’t. So why bother? Because it’s beautiful to be entangled with another person’s soul. It’s amazing to experience life and try new things. Because we don’t need to think about tomorrow when today is perfect and fulfilling. Because all we can be sure of is this moment. That’s why I offered my heart tonight, just now, in my living room, in Virabhadrasana I, up to the ceiling. I even smiled, despite my all-too-recent battle with darkness and uncertainty. This is it, I thought. I am here. I want to be right here, so I will be. And whatever happens right here, well, it will be the right thing. It might hurt, I might cry. I might need to go through some pain to find an even greater possibility waiting out there for me. Who knows!!! I don’t. You don’t. The beauty is in the uncertainty. Lean into that fear with me, friends. Next time we’re in class, and we’re opening our hearts into Vira I, smile at the possibility. The possible darkness, light, fear, exhilaration, success, failure. All of it. Open your warrior heart to it all.

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Posted by Amanda | Sunday, January 22nd, 2012 at 11:11 pm
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Look Around

Parenthood is isolating. I don’t know a parent alive who hasn’t had a moment or 800 where they don’t know what to do or where to turn. Those moments spread out as the babies grow, but in some ways, that just makes you less prepared for their sudden and forceful blow.

For some reason, asking for parenting help is a particularly difficult thing for many of us to do. I suspect that many of us feel like we should have more of the answers, should be doing a “better job” – and since we are bathing in our feelings of inadequacy, the last thing we want to do is give voice to these feelings by asking for help. That’s what asking for help is, right? Admitting that you can’t do it all? For whatever reason, you can’t do it. Guess what? We can’t. None of us can do it all. I sooo wish I could. I’ve tried! Never ends well.

I just thought of this beautiful little piece, whose intended use/ meaning is for marriage, but I think it applies just perfectly to any good friendship, any meaningful bond:

“You are holding up a ceiling with both arms. It is very heavy, but you must hold it up, or else it will fall down on you. Your arms are tired, terribly tired, and, as the day goes on, it feels as if either your arms or the ceiling will soon collapse.

But then, unexpectedly, something wonderful happens: Someone, a man or a woman, walks into the room and holds their arms up to the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get to take down your arms. You feel the relief of respite, the blood flowing back to your fingers and arms. And when your partner’s arms tire, you hold up your own to relieve him again. And it can go on like this for many years without the house falling.” ~Michael Blumenthal

Now, my yoga practice has given me a stronger core – physically and mentally – which grants me the knowledge/ faith that I *can* hold the ceiling up for longer than I think. I’m stronger than I know – we all are – and if I just breathe through that moment where I’m sure I can’t do it any longer, the moment behind that one will provide relief. And it usually does. But again, we can’t do it all. We need to give ourselves a break here and there, rest our arms. That world gets awfully heavy, doesn’t it?! So look around. Look to the people you would want to come to you if they were afraid their ceiling was going to collapse. Ask them for a hand. You will build a stronger bond with that person, those people. And I believe that the more of these people you surround yourself with, the longer that house is going to stay standing.

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Posted by Amanda | Friday, January 13th, 2012 at 10:32 am
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